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Review by Susan Granger
1 star out of 4
When critics are banned from a movie in advance of its
opening, you know there's a problem - in this case, more than
one. Back in 1992, "Universal Soldier" introduced hunky Jean-Claude
Van Damme as Luc Deveraux, a Unisol, the recycled corpse of a soldier
killed in Vietnam whose military motto is "Dying to Serve." At the
story's end, Luc was just beginning to perceive human feelings and
comprehend emotions. In this sequel, he's developed into a "normal"
human being - a bit stronger with bigger muscles and certainly a
better fighter. Now, Luc's a widower with a pre-teen daughter (Karis
Paige Bryant). He serves as a technical expert on a new government
project preparing a stronger breed of soldier that is more
sophisticated, agile, and intelligent. All goes well until the
soldiers' supercomputer, in the human form of Michael Jai White,
develops a maniacal mind of its own. Then it's the Self-Evolving
Thought Helix (acronym SETH) against Luc, whose only allies are Heidi
Schanz, a tough-as-nails TV reporter, and Kiana Tom (ESPN fitness
guru) as his training buddy. So what happens when the Muscles from
Brussels faces off against an entire army of Unisols programmed to
kill, kill, kill? Guess. Pow! Bam! Jab! Zap! Some of the plot
absurdities include a pit stop at a sleazy strip club, the only place
where they can find an Internet connection to access a secret
code. Directed by Mic Rodgers, a former stunt coordinator,
Jean-Claude's acting technique has not improved noticeably, nor has
his enunciation. At one point, he cautions his cohorts not to "peas
damoff" - which translates to "piss them off," but it takes a few
moments to comprehend. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10,
"Universal Soldier: The Return" is a action-packed, homicidal 3 -
aimed at diehard kickboxing fans.
Copyright © 2000 Susan Granger
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out of 4
