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Review by Harvey Karten
3 stars out of 4
For hundreds of years, chess was the game that enraptured
the entire world. Chess is a game requiring patience, skill,
emotional and intellectual maturity and long years of practice.
But then the 20th century rolled around. During the final decade
of so of the 1900's and then into the 21st century, games makers
came across a problem. To play chess requires that the
participants think. So the people that happily part the young
'uns from their parents' well-earned cash invented the video
game. Video games are valuable despite the penchant of the
players for immediate gratification. They encourage manual
dexterity and require athletic coordination. They do not require
long and philosophical musings over a board. As laziness
increased among the young, making such games too energetic
to play, the movies took over, this summer featuring such video-
like exercises like "T3" and "Hulk." You don't have to push and
pull any buttoms: just sit back, and if you're in an energetic
mood, gobble the popcorn. But those blockbusters are violent
and not suitable for the 5-11 age group which requires exciting
entertainment with less ferocity. Since necessity is the mother
of invention, Robert Rodriguez, who began making home
movies from the age of 13 and stunned the film world by
creating a quality film, "El Mariachi" for $7,000, had an idea.
Having reworked "Mariachi" into a new, shaggy-dog movie,
"Desperado," he knew he had the cast that could be used for
just about anything Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Steve
Buscemi, Cheech Marin all appear in his latest venture whose
shaggy-dog texture remains but is filled out by the miracle of 3-
D technology.
When patrons enter the auditorium, they are given cardboard
glasses each bearing a red plastic lens and a blue one. The
idea seems to be that if you're not going to be wildly original in
the year 2003, why not use a blast from the past? Back in
fifties, when I first developed headaches from seeing pics like
"House of Wax" and "Bwana Devil" with the strange lenses, I
figured that the technology was on the way out. And I was right.
The specs were uncomfortable. The movies forgot about plot in
their attempts to make people duck and dodge the flying objects
headed toward them in their seats. Sure enough, out went the
fad, to be revived later by IMAX, with a more sophisticated set of
goggles that covered half your head and produced characters
who practically sat on your nose. "Spy Kids 3D: Game Over"
looks back to the fifties by using pretty much the technology that
made "Bwana Devil" an ache in in the head, while looking
forward to the age of video games way way forward, it seems,
to a time that the violence in these toys would become strictly of
a cartoon nature, the heroes and villains virtually winking at you
as though to say, "Just kidding, folks."
"Spy Kids 3D" is not a sequel though it employs many of the
same performers of the other two versions, "Spy Kids" and "Spy
Kids 2", nor does it have the coherent plot that made the first
venture in 1998 a solid story. The plot now, such that it is, deals
with the need for young Juni Cortez (Daryl Sabara) to save his
sister Carmen (Alexa Vega) from the clutches of the evil
Toymaker (Sylvester Stallone) whose aim is to rule the world by
imprisoning its youth inside the video game. (That's the realistic
part.) Juni gets the heads-up from the president of the United
States (George Clooney) that he must come out of retirement as
a secret agent to rescue his sib. Entering the game with the help
of scientists like Francesa Giggles (Salma Hayek, given braids
to look 15 years younger), he must go through an obstacle
course and rise to level 5, opening the door to allow Carmen to
escape. On the way he meets people who are sometimes
hostile and competitive and sometimes friendly. Why so? Who
knows? The object is to thrill us in the audience by throwing at
us everything that's not nailed down metal pieces from the
robots that Juni meets, the tongues of frogs lashing out as
though the folks in the first row were flies, laser beams from
weapons borrowed from the residents of "Star Wars," you-
name-it. Juni Cortez may not be Harry Potter, but he has fun
his own way. He enlists the help of his wheelchair-bound
grandfather (played by Ricardo Montalban who is in reality
physically challenged as the result of botched back surgery) and
various nerds and strong kids whose trepidations are overcome
by the fearsome 11-year-old, leading to the defeat of the wicked
Toymaker, who appears to talk to himself a lot but who has
been split into four people, each looking strangely like Sly.
With its strong moral message essentially, dig your family and
dig the whole world because everyone is your family (sounds
like philosopher Peter Singer's point of view) "Spy Kids 3-D" is
colorful, amusing, just scary enough to keep the toddlers
involved--in short nothing if not an experience in depth.
Copyright © 2003 Harvey Karten
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