The miniscule plot involves a group of pirates working under the heinous Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), who commands an infamous ship known as the Black Pearl. Whenever they attack a town, they leave no survivors. Captain Sparrow questions this folk tale by reasoning that someone must have lived, or no one would know about the Black Pearl. BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM's Keira Knightley plays Elizabeth, the governor's daughter who finds herself an unwilling passenger on the Black Pearl. Orlando Bloom plays the humble blacksmith who pines for Elizabeth and would be willing to lay down his life in order to save hers. There's also a ghost story full of some scary skeletons who refuse to die.

But what the movie is really about is non-stop mayhem. The movie is based on a Disneyland ride, and it shows -- in the best way possible. I've always liked the wonderfully hokey Pirates of the Caribbean ride. The movie based on it is just as much adolescent fun. It speaks to the inner pirate in us all. (Thankfully, the film is nothing like THE COUNTRY BEARS, Disney's atrocious first attempt to turn a park attraction into a film.) There isn't anything wrong with the picture except its running length. Director Gore Verbinski (THE RING) should have chopped a full half-hour off of it in order to get it into fighting trim. After this picture, I can't wait for the next Disneyland-ride-turned-movie, THE HAUNTED MANSION, starring Eddie Murphy. Hopefully that film will help Murphy get his career back on track.

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL runs 2:20. It is rated PG-13 for "action/adventure violence" and would be acceptable for kids around 9 and up.

My son Jeffrey, age 14, who loves Jerry Bruckheimer films like this one, gave it ***. He liked the music and the cast, especially Depp. He thought the pacing of the fighting sequences was perfect in that they were never allowed to run on too long.