The chemistry-free film is anything but Ford's finest. Hartnett, on the other hand, delivers his standard, lifeless performance. It could be argued, however, that Hartnett's part was well cast since he plays a cop, without any acting abilities, who thinks he can be an actor. As the two detectives try to solve the case, Hartnett's character keeps rehearsing "A Street Car Name Desire" -- "Stella!" -- while Ford's character, who really wants to be a real estate agent, tries to peddle a producer's mansion. The convoluted plot is filled with too many coincidences even for a comedy. Shelton, whose name is all over the credits, including a co-writing credit, likes to throw in all kinds of showbiz in-jokes, like one about an Oscar nominated actor who is arrested for hiring prostitutes. He claims to be innocent since he was just doing "research" for his next picture.

"I was trying to remember when this was all glamorous," Detective Joe Gavilan (Ford) says to a recording executive about Hollywood's most famous intersection. "Nothing happens anymore at Hollywood and Vine." And nothing the least bit memorable happens in HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE.

HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE runs 1:51. It is rated PG-13 for "violence, sexual situations and language" and would be acceptable for kids around 9 and up.

My son Jeffrey, age 14, gave the film ***, saying it had a nice balance between the comedic and the serious. His favorite part was the donut episode when Detective Gavin's girlfriend, played by Lena Olin, taunts him in bed, saying, "Bad cop, no donuts."