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Um Jammer Lammy

video game review video game review Video Game Review: Um Jammer Lammy Publisher: Sony
Category: Simulation, Music
Platform: PS1
ESRB Rating: Everyone    Release Date: August 1999

Overall Rating: 2 Stars out of 4

Review by Tom Allen
2 Stars out of 4

Okay, let me tell you right now. I'm not a Parappa fan. I was pleasantly surprised by the story and music of the original, but nothing about the sequel has that same "je ne sais quoi."

Umjammer is the ugliest bitch I've ever seen. I'd rather paint my ass to look like an Andy Warhol silkscreen head than spend one more minute looking at that hideous creature. Her head looks like a cow's udder.

The story in Umjammer is pathetic. Ooh, Jammy can't make it to the concert. Ooh! And what's this crap about a guitar in her mind? Give me a break! There's something in her mind, but it ain't a guitar.

The game's visual style is overdone. Imagine Parappa on LCD/LSD/PCP/one of those drugs… as if Parappa weren't on crack to begin with. The icons on the screen are too small. Casual players will find the game far too difficult. The game has no ending other than the fact that you make it to the concert, but that's the last level, and you play a song as usual. Nothing happens after that. What a rip.

Die-hard music fans may like it, especially for the two-player co-op and two-player competitive modes, but I'm going to pass. I think it's official: Jammy needs to go on Jenny Jones for a make-over. Yuck.

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