I never thought I could endorse the movie that aligned
pretty-boy stars Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Antonio Banderas and
Christian Slater and also inspired teenage losers with no identity to
dye their hair red or black and wear those damn Army boots and Jim
Morrison t-shirts everywhere. The ideal situation here would have
involved me a) watching the movie, b) hating it, and c) writing a
scathing review at the expense of Cruise, Pitt and weirdo novelist
Anne Rice.
Unfortunately for me, I enjoyed INTERVIEW WITH THE
VAMPIRE from the beginning. It was fresh, original and--most
importantly--violent. There were throat-slittings, beheadings and
raging fires to appeal to the basest of animal instincts while
counterbalancing that with intellectual prose obviously drawn straight
from Rice's text. It does sound a little strange coming from the mouths
of Cruise and Pitt, much like frat boys putting on a production of
"Macbeth" ("Et tu, dude?"), but if you've ever had a fantasy about Brad
Pitt eating a poodle (and please keep it to yourself if you have),
INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE is the movie you've been waiting
for.
The story begins with vampire Pitt recounting his life story to
reporter Slater. We learn of how Cruise sucked and sucked on his neck
(I said NECK!) and how they both seemed to enjoy it a little too much.
Soon, Pitt was an immortal with a thirst for blood, but since he was the
humane kind, he had to suck the life out of rats and poodles instead.
You know, with all the Morrison-worshipping vampire clones out
there emulating this movie, that's the one thing I'd like to see one of
those freaks do. Of course most of them _are_ vegetarians...
Cruise attempts to placate Pitt by "vampirizing" a 12-year-old
girl (Kristen Dunst, in a remarkable performance) for his pleasure. Ah
yes, the old placate-the-pedophile trick. It doesn't work in this case,
unless the result Cruise wanted was to have his throat cut. So with
Cruise out of the picture, Pitt and Dunst are free to enjoy the
Renaissance together. Sure, the whole Pitt-Dunst relationship is a little
sick, but there's no suggestion of a sexual relationship between the
two, although they _do_ share a coffin.
Yes, INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE is plenty perverse, a
dark movie with violence and suction for the whole family, 17 and up
that is.
Copyright © 1996 Andrew Hicks
