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movie reviewvideo review out of 4 Movie Review: Torque

Starring: Ice Cube, Martin Henderson
Director: Joseph Kahn
Rated: PG-13
RunTime: 94 Minutes
Release Date: January 2004
Genres: Action, Sports

*Also starring: Monet Mazur, Matt Schulze, Jaime Pressly, Faizon Love, Will Yun Lee

Review by Steve Rhodes
1 star out of 4

So how many days are there in January? Thirty-one long days, when few new movies worth seeing show up at your local theater. Usually it's only the Christmas cinematic leftovers that sustain us during these cold winter days of the first of the year.

So it is again this year with the opening of Joseph Kahn's TORQUE, a movie which plays like a sequel to last January's BIKER BOYZ, which had a completely different cast and crew but the same cheesy setup. TORQUE stars Martin Henderson and Ice Cube in two embarrassingly bad performances. Since BIKER BOYZ was a rip off of another awful film, THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS, TORQUE is like a third generation copy of a bad videotape.

This brain dead picture is stuffed with laughably lame insults ("I didn't come here to watch you pet your dog, primate!" and "Let's see if this guy fights as bad as he rides!") and mindless banter ("You're going to need us," says one. "Yes I am," replies another.)

The movie features fast bikes, fast cars, fast driving, fast women and fast editing -- in short, it's fast. Think 3 FAST 3 FURIOUS. With overcooked action and colors and with wet T-shirts, the movie offers everything except class and something akin to a plot. There is some story about drugs and murder, but it is just a ruse to stitch the action together.

Only if the film had been juiced up and released as an R-rated guilty pleasure would it have had any chance of being the least bit enjoyable. But this pseudo-raunchy PG-13 version is just one big waste of time.

TORQUE runs 1:21. It is rated PG-13 for "violence, sexuality, language and drug references" and would be acceptable for kids around 12 and up.

Copyright 2004 Steve Rhodes

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