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House Of The Dead

movie review out of 4 Movie Review: House Of The Dead

Starring: Jurgen Prochnow, Clint Howard
Director: Uwe Boll
Rated: R
RunTime: 90 Minutes
Release Date: October 2003
Genre: Horror

*Also starring: Ona Grauer, Tyron Leitso, Enuka Okuma, Ellie Cornell, William Sanderson, Steve Byers, Jonathan Cherry

Review by Steve Rhodes
1 star out of 4

In Uwe Boll's THE HOUSE OF THE DEAD, there's going to be the year's biggest rave and on an island no less, so the teenagers have to flock there. What they don't know is that the island is crawling with the living dead, a.k.a., zombies. As moviegoers, you are going to have a real quandary before you. Do you go for what will be an obviously bad film like THE HOUSE OF THE DEAD or do you try for something better by getting your gore kicks at the remake of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, which is playing at the next screen in most multiplexes now. Worry no more. They are both equally bad, and what they mainly kill is your time.

On the other hand, if you want a picture so bad that you can have a few opportunities to laugh at it in derision, THE HOUSE OF THE DEAD is the better choice of these two atrocious alternatives.

"Who the hell were those things," inquires one girl, probably soon to be chopped liver. "Why me?" ask one of the expendable boys. You don't get much more generic than THE HOUSE OF THE DEAD. You'll feel pretty dead after you've sat through this turkey. If you wait for video, put your finger on the fast-forward button and never let go.

THE HOUSE OF THE DEAD runs 1:30. The film is rated R for "pervasive strong violence/gore, language and some nudity" and would be acceptable for most teenagers.

Copyright 2003 Steve Rhodes

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