out of 4
All-Reviews.com Movie/Video Review
|*Also starring: ||Doug Jones, John Hurt, Rupert Evans, Corey Johnson, Karel Roden, Brian Caspe, James Babson, Biddy Hodson, Jeffrey Tambor, Santiago Segura||
Review by Steve Rhodes
2 stars out of 4
HELLBOY, by director Guillermo del Toro (BLADE II), is a long, violent, cigar
commercial that's for Hellboy comic book fans only. Although better than
DAREDEVIL, it is not anywhere near in the X-MEN league, the movie it tries most
to mimic. A long and tiresome slugfest, it features Ron Perlman in a
charisma-free performance as Hellboy, the stogie-smoking fighter of the forces
of evil. He works for an officially non-existent, secret branch of the FBI,
lead by a doofus bureaucrat named Dr. Tom Manning (Jeffrey Tambor), who shares
Hellboy's proclivity for cigars. This PG-13 movie is quite gory and way into
R-rated territory. The MPAA is asleep at the switch again.
The overplotted story features Nazis, Christian relics, a Russian monk, a
portal to the skies, paranormal phenomena, the end of the world and a woman
(Selma Blair) who gets really hot when mistreated. The only satisfying parts
of the movie are Hellboy's wisecracks ("I just fried Stinky," "Didn't I already
kill you," and "I'm fireproof. You're not."), which Perlman delivers deadpan
style. There isn't a character worth caring about in the entire story.
The special effects are good, but you expect that from a movie based on a comic
book. Hidden inside this bloated production is probably a less than ninety
minute movie that could soar. Instead of soaring, you'll be sagging in your
seat as Hellboy stops one unstoppable monster after another. Eventually,
you'll be crying, "Enough already. I get it."
HELLBOY runs a long 1:52. It is rated PG-13 for "sci-fi action violence and
frightening images" and would be acceptable for most teenagers.
Copyright © 2004 Steve Rhodes
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