Does Aunt Rose of Wichita still exist? If so, chalk up "Not
Another Teen Movie" as another film you wouldn't want to invite
her to. Let's assume, though, we're now living at a time that
Aunt Rose from Wichita, Cousin Trudy from Peoria and Sister
Flora from Helena are all now hip. Is "Not Another Teen Movie"
a good bet for them--and for the rest of us? For the most part no.
The trouble with this one is not that it's vulgar: the army of
scripters and director Joel Gallen want it to be just that way and
the marketing team behind them must have assumed that its
large target audience do so as well. The problem with "Not
Another Teen Movie" is that the majority of sight gags simply fall
flat. They cry out for a laugh track because they're not about to
get more than a few chuckles from the people in the peanut
gallery.
Gallen's parody of pics that are already sendups takes the
genre a step too far out, fashioning a film that is overwrought
with gags about flatulence that fall flat, excrement that is
excessive, teachers that are tyrants, cheerleaders who chafe,
and would-be prom queens who are quarrelsome. At best, the
movie is designed to make the 17-25 crowd feel accomplished if
they can name the particular stories being sent up, teen
comedies like "American Pie," "Scary Movie," "The Breakfast
Club," a few from over a decade ago, and even an obvious take
on the weird photographer in "American Beauty" whose idea of
beauty is a scrap of paper floating in the breeze. Why five
scripters were needed to this ribald piece of third-rate offal is
anybody's guess.
Since poop jokes are appreciated by kids as young as second-
graders, director Gallen tosses in both the most offensive and
most rib-tickling scene as a group of high-school freshmen,
peering through a vent in the ceiling at a coed relieving herself in
the women's room, fall through the cracks leading to a cave-in on
the classroom a couple of floors down. An English teacher is
insisting that compared to Shakespeare and Moliere, what
passes for literature today is pure excrement. What follows as
the upstairs bathroom collapses, toilet falling through first, is a
deluge of human waste scattering, of course, on the three
peeping-Toms and the teacher as well, which might almost
make the kids wish they were sitting in a quiet library reading
Milton instead.
All the stereotypical students are here. Since we've seen them
doing whatever stereotypical people do in previous films, most of
the time we spend in the theater is redundant and tedious.
Chyler Leigh performs as the pretty ugly girl who is a beauty
under the glasses and the pony tail; and Chris Evans as the
Freddy-Prinze Jr. jock type, though he really looks like a young
Alec Baldwin. In other portrayals a "token black guy" actually
does say something more than "damn" and "that's wack," a
football coach does not say much more than "God-damn-it"
which he repeats over a dozen times, and the lesbian
scene--which does not quite compete with David Lynch's idea of
one in "Mulholland Drive" featuring Naomi Watts and Laura Elena
Harring--involves a high-school girl French kissing a woman
about fifty years her senior.
Should we conclude that the picture should have been called,
"Please! Not Another Teen Movie"? Not necessarily. With
quality stuff like "American Pie" and even "Road Trip" (which
scores because of a very funny Tom Green), this could have
been better. Don't blame the genre. Blame the committee of five
who couldn't do much for anyone in the cast except Randy Quaid
as the drunken dad, the one guy whose ability to act actually tries
to make something of the detumescent script.
Copyright © 2001 Harvey Karten