Pity the poor valedictorian. She didn't get to go to any of the parties or the
football games. And she's still a virgin. This makes her one unhappy girl.
You'll be unhappy too if you go to see CROSSROADS, unless you're a dedicated
Britney Spears fan. She is a really cute girl with the world's whitest teeth.
But, even if she's really cute, her movie is really bad.
Although most of the picture is a wasteland set during a road trip across the
country, it starts with sexual titillation and ends with daytime soap opera
material. When we first meet Lucy (Spears), she is dancing on her bed in her
underwear. The next scene has a voyeuristic camera peering down her blouse.
And soon after that she's playing flasher in her bra and panties in a hotel room
with her nerdy lab partner. You may now be thinking guilty pleasure. If so,
you'd be wrong, as these sexually charged episodes feel more cheesy and
distasteful than erotic. After them, the movie falls quickly into neutral, a
gear that it doesn't get out of until almost the end.
Going on the trip with Lucy are her ex-girlfriends, Kit (Zoe Saldana) and Mimi
(Taryn Manning). Supplying the car, the driving and the good male looks is a
stranger named Ben (Anson Mount), who is rumored to have been in prison for
murdering a guy. Want to place on a bet on the rumor's accuracy? Mount (URBAN
LEGEND: FINAL CUT), who could easily pass for James Caviezel's younger brother,
is a hunk who is a nice visual complement to Spears.
Spears is in good company. From Mariah Carey in GLITTER to Lance Bass in ON THE
LINE, today's young singers have proved that they should stick to their day
jobs. Although Mandy Moore in A WALK TO REMEMBER made the transition
successfully, few do.
CROSSROADS runs 1:34. It is rated PG-13 for "sexual content and brief teen
drinking" and would be acceptable for teenagers.
Copyright © 2002 Steve Rhodes