Bond is off to Jamaica in DR. NO (and, if you've never heard someone with an English accent say, "Hey mon!" you're a mighty deprived person) to find out what happened to a missing fellow agent. Along the way, he wakes up to find a tarantula in his bed (It's sad when you're so drunk you don't know who you're going home with.) and trespasses on No's island, where he finds a beautiful woman (Ursula Andress) gathering seashells. He also finds a few Jamaicans opening machine gun fire on him. You have to take the good with the bad... Sorry, I've been working on the side as a fortune cookie writer lately. My favorite message to people who have just finished eating Chinese food: "Your sweet and sour pork was infected with E. Coli bacteria."

DR. NO is worth watching just because it was the movie that started off the seemingly endless set of sequels. It's one of the weakest Connery vehicles (with YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE taking the cake), though, and has much more dialogue than action. You know a James Bond movie moves slowly when Bond only nails two women in the entire movie. Promiscuity is the all-encompassing gauge of success... Another one of my cookie fortunes. I apologize.